007. [Text]

[fatalissimo]

So do you guys ever still think about how bizarre this place is, or do you pretty much just get used to it after a while? It's weird as hell, the stuff you just start accepting after a while – you don't even think about how most of us came from a place where cats don't hatch out of eggs.

(...I say "most" because some jerk out there's going to pop up and prove me wrong, you just watch. Even if you also hatch your damn cats, I'm pretty sure there's something here that's out of the ordinary.)

I don't know if there's much point to this, but there's not much point to anything that goes on around here, anyway. I don't know, even if this place is better than whatever's going on back home, sometimes you miss being useful, too. Another thing to get used to, I guess.

...No, really, I am getting sick of the kittens-from-eggs thing. I'm going to have more cats than I do Swablus at this rate.

Comments

[fatalissimo]

Oh, god, I'd forgotten those things. Aren't Grimers those...piles of sentient sludge that came to life because of something to do with the moon? ...Ew.

As for the usefulness thing, it's not like I'm pining really hard or anything. I'm just suited for some pretty specific stuff and it's weird to not have that here.

[loveisanopendoor]

Those are the ones! And then they evolve into even bigger piles of sludge. How weird is that? And that's not even the weirdest one I've seen. Look at this guy.



I don't even want to tell you what it sounds like, either. Anything I can do to help, though?

[fatalissimo]

...You can start by telling me what the actual hell that thing you just showed me even is. It looks kinda like a flounder?

[loveisanopendoor]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW

It's called a Stunfisk and that doesn't even give any hints but like it's not even water type??? It's ground and electric!!!

[fatalissimo]

...holy shit, I think you've found the cosmic joke of the Pokémon world. I almost feel bad for it.

[loveisanopendoor]

NONON IT MAKES FART NOISES

[fatalissimo]

...YEP, YOU'VE DEFINITELY FOUND THE COSMIC JOKE OF THE POKEMON WORLD.

[loveisanopendoor]

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT TO BELIEVE IT

ATTACH: 618.mp3

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE IT'S FARTING

[fatalissimo]

OH MY GOD, WHY

[loveisanopendoor]

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'VE SEEN IT ALL

FARTING CROSS-EYED FISH THAT AREN'T EVEN FISH

[fatalissimo]

It could be worse, I guess - for all we know, that thing is descended from some of the literal gods we've seen around from time to time.

[loveisanopendoor]

oh my god imagine it's legendary

[fatalissimo]

Well, it's definitely legendarily something.

[loveisanopendoor]

I'm not gonna lie I actually really want one now

Like how can you have a bad day with one of those things around???

[fatalissimo]

If I come across one, I'll throw it at you. ...Presumably not literally, because that'd probably suck.

[loveisanopendoor]

If I manage to find any other ridiculous Pokemon, I'll throw them at you, too. Do you have the one that's a bug that's also a music conductor? I feel like that one would be up your alley

[fatalissimo]

...You know, I actually don't. And that really needs to be fixed.

[loveisanopendoor]

If I see it around when I go back to the National Park I'll get it for you! It's kinda cute, though, it looks like its got a little mustache...

[fatalissimo]

...That actually sounds really cute if you don't consider the fact that it's probably bigger than bugs have any godforsaken right to be.

[loveisanopendoor]

It's a little big for a bug, yeah, but I don't mind that if they're not, like, y'know, bugs. Some bugs are cute but others are just, ick...

[fatalissimo]

God, can you just imagine cockroaches that size? Not like this world's magical cockroaches because I'm sure they exist somewhere, but real-world cockroaches. Ew.

[loveisanopendoor]

Or mosquitoes? I don't even wanna think about it...

[fatalissimo]

...God, they'd make human raisins out of people.

[loveisanopendoor]

A-at least they'd make for pretty strong Pokemon...

[fatalissimo]

Well, that, and I imagine fire-types would be a lot more popular than they are.